I recently became a new mom, which has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Any new parent will agree that those first couple of days, weeks, and months, are unimaginably precious.
That excitement and love is then coupled with fear, sleep deprivation, and the steepest learning curve imaginable.
I’m lucky to have close friends with young kids, so I was given lots of great advice and tips early on in pregnancy (not to mention tons of hand-me-downs that I’m forever grateful for!). I’m the type of person who feels I have to do a ton of planning and research with everything in my life (work, wedding, home design/renovations, the list goes on). So when it came to having a baby, it was no different. I figured I’d have a couple of tools and go-to resources that would help me as I moved from stage to stage (newborn, infant, toddler, and so on) in order to feel confident as a new mom.
But once our baby arrived, everywhere I turned there was another app I should download, book I should read, Facebook group I should join, social media account I should follow, or program I should sign up for.
Thoughts that flooded my already-tired-and-stressed mind included:
- “I’m not doing enough if I don’t do this all.”
- “I should forgo sleep to read _(insert resource here)_.”
- “_(Insert parent you follow on Instagram)_ is doing this and I didn’t even know about it, I’m a terrible parent.”
It. Was. Too. Much.
So, if you’re like me and feel the need to read and research everything, how do you prevent this information overload without losing confidence as a parent?
I try to manage this by sticking to a few but credible resources and then I simply let the others go, knowing there aren’t enough hours in the day to read everything. I’m by no means a perfect parent and I’m not saying this is the perfect approach, I’m simply sharing how I’ve worked on preventing the overwhelm, which leads to the ‘I’m not good enough’ cycle of negative thoughts.
Here are the 4 resources I rely on:
- Government-provided resources. Where I live in Canada, there’s a book the doctors give you when pregnant (Baby’s Best Chance), followed by a second book when your baby hits toddler age (Toddler’s First Steps). I trust that these are revised often and follow what local pediatricians are recommending. They cover a wide range of topics and experiences and I can go back and re-reference as I need.
- Local pediatric association resources. Here in Canada, there’s a local website ‘Caring for Kids Canada’ by the Canadian Pediatric Society. There’s an absolute ton of trusted information on here, backed by local pediatricians. This is a resource I use for searching things as they come up, versus more pre-reading like the books listed above.
There are so many apps and other resources I’ve sampled. Some worked for me, and many didn’t. So beyond the first two government and pediatric resources, here are two that worked for me.
- Taking Cara Babies. This is a resource we used for sleep training/schedule creation and it worked so well for us! Cara, the owner/creator of this resource, is a neonatal nurse, mother of four, and wife of a pediatrician, so I trust her experience and credibility. Her courses include videos and e-books and run from newborn to age two. She also has a great blog if you don’t want to commit to one of her courses.
- The Ovia Parenting app. I used the Ovia Pregnancy app and loved it. I found it was accurate for what I was experiencing on a week-to-week basis. Naturally, I downloaded the Parenting App once our baby was here, and found it continued to be an accurate and useful resource for us. It’s not something I check daily, but rather once every week or other week. It has articles that are quick and easy to read and are tailored to the age of your baby. It has way more features than I use, including a diaper and feeding tracker, but I like how I can reference it when I have a moment to do some more reading, but don’t have to rely on it daily.
And that’s it! I felt the above provided a nice mix of reading material, courses, and apps that I can reference as I can, and covered all of the bases: Food, sleep, safety, schedules, and overall health. Again, this is solely my preference and I’m not suggesting you should download, read, or sign up for the same. I’m simply sharing this all to exemplify how I am working to simplify the information at hand to prevent feeling overwhelmed.
There are so many other resources I’ve tried, but they were either too overwhelming and redundant to the information I was already getting through the above resources, or they didn’t apply to us. What worked for my family may not work for you, but I felt compelled to share how I’ve narrowed down what has worked for me and to remind you that you can do the same if you’re feeling overwhelmed. I’m certainly not a perfect parent and don’t pretend to be, I’m simply a mom who can get overwhelmed and is constantly working on some ways to prevent that.
If you’re experiencing the same, I hope you can remind yourself: Just because you see other parents using and thriving with other resources doesn’t mean they’re going to work for you, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re not doing enough. You are!
How can you narrow down the resources that could be overwhelming you? Share your thoughts with me on social media at @coralie_stern or @livelyco_inc on Instagram or Twitter, or LivelyCo’s Facebook page.
None of the information provided in this article is meant to replace the advice of a doctor or health care provider. For resources best suited to you, it’s recommended you speak to a health care professional.